Being proactive about our lives and taking responsibility for our feelings are important things to learn and implement, but they should not come at the expense of actually processing and experiencing our pain or sadness.
All too often when we get an uncomfortable feeling, we respond by trying to get rid of it quickly and move on to the next thing. Although the response of moving on may be appropriate and healthy, it should come after we have acknowledged and processed the experience.
Socially we reward productivity and positivity and forward thinking and these are important aspects of our societies collective values. We seek to feel good and to quickly resolve any negative feelings, but the reality is that without processing the bad we risk repeating the same patterns without ever learning from them.
This article on the psychology today site nicely sums up the importance of taking time to experience the bad times before moving on to the good.
photo collage by Rocio Montayo